Over the last few years I have been positive I’ve been meant to do more, that what I am doing is not enough. I am inundated with messages of “Get more followers”, “How to Kill it as an Entrepreneur!” “Top 5 Things You Must Do for Your Business” or “You suck and Should Be Working Non stop!” Okay, that last one may just be my internal dialogue, but I think you follow me. I am constantly getting and earful and eyeful of what I am not doing and what I need to be doing to be successful. Everyone is an expert and everyone has a secret to success. OMG I am exhausted just writing about it!
That feeling of exhaustion was actually my wakeup call. (AH, the bodies genius, always keeping us on track if we listen.) I was going into my photography studio everyday, a business which I loved but now struggled to enjoy and was EXHAUSTED! I literally couldn’t keep my eyes open while at my desk. I was thrilled when I was actually shooting, but immediately after I would sink back down into defeat. I even hired consultants and coaches to help me unearth what this mystical and magical new path might be. I was more than a little annoyed when one suggested, ” What if there isn’t something more?” WHAT?! NOTHING MORE??? Then what the hell am I doing? Where is my value? What is the point of me and my business? This can’t be IT I thought. I need to do more to deserve what is coming to me. I need to give more before it’s “over”. (Slightly dark I know) As if running a full time photography studio wasn’t enough….I SHOULD be doing more. Well, wouldn’t you know it, Anna Scott was right. Side note, check her out…she’s amazing!
Since no great lessons come in one perfect little package it took a few more gentle hits on the head for me to get this one. About a week ago I went to a goodbye party for a friend who is moving to Ghana. I was inspired by her huge life choice to sell her house and begin a new adventure, and also by something she shared, “We don’t have to push ourselves to absurd limits to deserve the good we receive.” Certainly based on almost all advertising this was inccorect. Why just today an online retailer emailed to tell me the coffee table I deserved was on sale.
I sat with this wisdom for a few days as it melded into my consciousness. I would roll it around and try it on for size. It felt good in my body. It felt right. It wasn’t saying don’t effort, just effort less and flow more, do what you enjoy and enjoy what you do. Then one day….ummmm,this past Monday, I had an incredible “shift”. This business I have created over the last 30yrs, THIS is what I do and I do it pretty damn well. It doesn’t need to be MORE, I don’t need to be MORE. It’s simple I know, but this simple revelation released me from this heavy weight of, ” I am not enough” and I immediately noticed as I repeated this new believe throughout the day that I wasn’t struggling to stay awake at my desk. I was enough and so was the work I was offering to my clients from my heart.
What if we relaxed into this? What if we balanced effort with flow? What if we all knew that this career, family, who we are and what we are so passionate about is enough just as it is?
…and of course here are some visual reminders of what it looks like when we allow ourselves to show up as enough.